Podcast

Dr. Sarah (00:02):

Ever wonder what psychologist moms talk about when we get together, whether we’re consulting one another about a challenging case or one of our own kids, or just leaning on each other when parenting feels hard. Because trust me, even when we do this for a living, it’s still hard. Joining me each week in these special Thursday shows are two of my closest friends, both moms, both psychologists, they’re the people I call when I need a sounding board. These are our unfiltered answers to your parenting questions. We’re letting you in on the conversations The three of us usually have behind closed doors. This is Securely Attached: Beyond the Sessions.

(00:44):

Hey everyone. Today the thing that we really wanted to put our heads together on was this idea that comes up all the time. I’m sure you guys see it a lot in your practice, and I’m certainly sure you see it in your homes. A lot of parents are like, my kid isn’t sharing. I’m so worried they’re going to be like a mean kid. Or, my kid asks for things every time we go to the store. They freak out when I say, no, I’m so worried they’re going to be spoiled, or My kid doesn’t appreciate how much they have, and they’re going to just be so oblivious to their privilege and what they possess in the world, and how do we instill altruism, kindness, thoughtfulness of a sense of gratitude in our kids because it’s really, I think it’s something that people in today’s modern society worry about.

Dr. Rebecca (01:36):

And by people in today’s modern society also, me.

Dr. Sarah (01:41):

Me too.

Dr. Rebecca (01:41):

I mean, right. And I know the research in this area and so do, and I know how to do it, but that doesn’t mean I do it every day, nor does it mean there’s any formula or algorithm. And I think that’s so hard. It’s like parents, frankly, myself included, it’s always give me tools and strategies, give me tools and strategies, and it’s like I don’t know that there are tools and strategies for raising kind of good citizens of the world, although I think it’s amazing that we all are aspiring to that and frankly, a lot of schools are too with their curriculums, which I think is a step forward in a way that at least when I was growing up, learning kindness and and understanding privilege was just not part of the curriculum. I think in a way that it is now.

Dr. Emily (02:28):

I totally also think we have to make it a priority. I think it’s not something that just happens and being intentional about the values that you just stated, Sarah, and the curriculum is great, Rebecca. It’s great that the schools are doing it, but I also think that home has to be the partner and really mindfully thinking about how do I make caring for other people a priority? How do I do that in my everyday life? And I think we can get into some of those details, some ideas around that. But I think that’s the first part is this is work and we have to learn how to do it. We don’t just expect our kids to be thankful and know it. Right. There’s a little bit of…

Dr. Rebecca (03:11):

Well, and it’s a huge priority for it. Like yes, it starts with the home. Absolutely. How do we care for other people? How do we teach perspective taking? How do we teach appreciation? It’s funny, Emily, you already mentioned the buzzword, if I will, mindfulness because I actually think that’s often where I start with families that I work with and with my own kids, which is taking a moment to just stop and notice if we don’t notice not only what we see around us, but also how we’re feeling in a given moment or what we look like compared to other people, how we’re being treated. It’s really just teaching and modeling, taking a pause to comment on a moment that we are feeling a particular way. Gratitude is always a great place to start. Just noticing, wow, we’re sitting here on the couch after a long day and we have this beautiful fireplace and I’m just so grateful in this moment. And it’s true, but I don’t always think to say it out loud because I don’t always stop and think about it. And I think it’s showing our kids that actually we can pause and stop and check in with ourselves and then express.

Dr. Emily (04:26):

And what I love about that is that it’s not seeking gratitude in a sort of artificial way. It’s really exactly to your point, slowing down and being mindful about potentially the normative everyday things that feel good. It doesn’t have to be that you write a thank you note. It can be that you sit on the couch and say, oh, it feels nice to be together. And I love that Sarah and I are always talking about making parenting achievable by not giving extra homework. Can we make it part of the routine that you’re already doing, but slowing it down and sort of highlighting those pieces? And I love that about your example, Rebecca.

Dr. Rebecca (05:09):

Thank you. Yeah, it’s so funny you say that sometimes I talk about things like that and parents are like, oh yeah, we could each write down on a piece of paper while we’re grateful and we could get a little jar, and it’s like, knock yourselves out. But my experience with that is that that will dissipate within a week, whereas sitting and just noticing something and saying something again is a much more bite-sized and therefore sustainable practice.

Dr. Sarah (05:34):

And more authentic, less manufactured. And I think kids resonate with that. And I think what you’re touching on for me makes me think of two things. One is the modeling piece. If we want our kids to learn a skill, we have to model it a thousand times before they start to internalize that as something that they might consciously choose to do. That’s one thing. So a lot of think when parents are like, how do I help my kid be, have more gratitude, appreciation, kindness, whatever respect? I like a lot of it, and this is people get frustrated by this answer because it is a lot more work, is you’d have to do it. You have to do it over and over and over and over and over again in front of them, towards them for them to do it. But then the other piece that I think we’re talking about that’s really important is we need to have a realistic picture for parents.

(06:26):

I would love to paint a realistic picture for parents of what it actually looks like in reality, because you can teach gratitude and not have grateful kids all the time, and it’s still working. And so I think parents get hung up when their kid is, gets the GIMs at C V Ss or is, where’s my Amazon package? It should be here already. When is it coming? And recognize that’s also pretty developmentally normal and not a sign that your kid is not going to develop authentic gratitude or appreciation for things or respect for other people. And oftentimes when I’m trying to help parents build up gratitude in their family’s ecosystem, I think it’s less about addressing lack of gratitude in the moment, entitlement in the moment, sort of actually stepping back and saying, that makes developmental sense right now. How do I tolerate that? And the feelings it kicks up in me, the fears that’s driving inside of my brain and tolerated in the moment. And then actually the teaching of gratitude happens in other moments, the ones you’re talking about. And then helping your kids connect the dots in those moments that that’s actually what gratitude looks like.

Dr. Rebecca (07:44):

And I think we hold our kids to a higher standard sometimes than we hold ourselves because it’s actually possible to feel grateful and want something at the same time. And I think there’s a real risk of over coupling to use a jargony nervous system word, but kind of over coupling kind of spoilness or entitlement with desire and therefore gratitude with guilt. So I need to feel grateful all the time for my privilege. And if I want something that I don’t have or I want something to happen faster or easier than I must be ungrateful and a terrible person, and now I’m myself. I experienced that a lot with families where something big gets canceled and maybe it’s a privileged thing. I mean, this happened a lot in Covid, right? Somebody’s trip to Disneyland got canceled and instead of allowing themselves to feel disappointed because that disappointment is a real and authentic emotion in their context of privilege was I wish my kids could just think of all the kids who would never get to go to Disneyland and they don’t even understand how lucky they were to go in the first place.

(08:57):

And it’s sort of like, no, you can have feelings of disappointment or of wanting your package to get there because you’re seven and you’re just excited about your package and still know that you’re a very privileged person in the world and give back in other ways. And I think helping parents see those as kind of individual threads. I mean, I have this heartbreaking letter from when I was a kid writing to my parents from sleepaway camp and saying something, not to date myself of course, but this was the eighties and saying, I miss you so much. And I can’t stop crying, but I keep telling myself that there are so many kids in Ethiopia who never get to go to sleep awake again. Oh my God. And I just want to hug my self, my little girl self and just be like, sweetie, you’re feeling homesick has nothing to do with the kids in Ethiopia. And you’re right, you have it a whole lot better than they do, and that’s really important to keep in mind. But again, it’s about timing. It’s okay not to keep that in mind right now and to feel sad.

Dr. Emily (10:02):

And I think that really is, that’s actually an interesting way to think about it too. I think I love idea of reflecting back what you were saying Sarah earlier, but I also kind of the idea of in those moments being curious, not being sort of shaming or saying that type of in what I got growing up was people in China don’t have any food. This the shaming approach is to be more, I wonder why the package, the process package takes, I wonder who the driver is and I wonder what happens when he’s in traffic and oh, it takes a really long time. And just being more curious and perspective teaching that perspective, taking in that curiosity, while that’s, I think is a really good point, Rebecca, of not holding those two close together. It’s also kind of nice to that you did that, right? You obviously got some of that mentalization or that thinking of the other person in your child rearing in your grow, in your grown up self, in your growing up self. And I think that is something that we do want to mindfully sort of implement in our parenting, which is that curiosity of how do these things happen? They don’t just happen, right?

Dr. Rebecca (11:21):

Well, that’s what I hear in what you’re saying is not so much, it’s more just like you’re making it human for them. This isn’t just you click a button on a computer on Amazon and then it magically appears you’re adding that human, there’s someone who’s working. What if that person needs a break to eat, do you think should that person be able to eat? Or do you think if it’s going to mean slowing down the package, that they should just rush to get the package and letting your kids answer some of those questions, not freaking out If they answer the quote wrong way, they should skip eating every meal. So I, my it’s, I see how that would be your preference, but I think recognizing, again, this human component and that again, which also helps remind kids that we are part of this collective whole, which is the take home in the first place. It’s not just we are all in this together. What do we all owe each other in terms of grace and compassion?

Dr. Sarah (12:23):

And I think in order to have the wherewithal in a moment as a parent to go that route of curious inquiry and a little bit of some thought exercises for our kid and not say something sort of shutting them down or telling them that they’re being ungrateful, we almost have to rewind a little bit or slow motion in a bit and recognize that a parent in the moment when you receive some really demanding request from your kid, a lot of times, very understandably, you have the thought, oh God, my kid is so ungrateful, which then obviously understandably leads to some type of threat response in us. Maybe we get mad, maybe we get panicked. Maybe we resent them for that. Maybe we fear judgment from other whatever. We’re having some type of interpretation of that question from them or that demand from them, and we’re having a reaction as a result of it. But one of the things that might be helpful and what you guys are kind of saying is if we can educate parents on how developmentally appropriate that is, or maybe it’s not like because they’re egocentric and they’re just kids are very egocentric or also because they don’t understand, they actually do not know how packages get to their home. When kids understand how things work, they can have more appreciation for that process.

Dr. Emily (13:56):

We can base a little bit of some science too, because we know that there’s an availability bias, which just means that the more that you see something with prevalence, the more examples that you have that the more of that becomes the norm and it’s not really their fault this world, and that is privilege, and that is sort of what a lot of us work really hard to afford our kids some of these things. At the same time, I think that the maybe hearing parent, maybe when a parent feels that reaction of, oh my God, my kid is so spoiled, maybe that’s our cue to say, you know what? Instead of let’s, let’s reframe that as maybe I need to broaden their world a little, right? Maybe I need to expand a little, like, oh my gosh, I’ve been just sort of going through my life and through my days and we’re so thankful we do have all of these opportunities, but that’s just their whole life and maybe I need to work a little bit harder at giving them a little bit more of a broader perspective, whether that’s through visiting other communities or other cultures or there’s such a wide range of ways to do that. But I think maybe we can flip that as a cue to say, maybe it might, it’s not bad, but maybe I need to open this world up a little bit more for them.

Dr. Rebecca (15:13):

Maybe my kid’s not bad and maybe I’m not bad either, because I could see a lot of parents going down that road, okay, well now that my kid’s not bad, I’m clearly a horrible parent because I haven’t opened their doors. There’s only one. Like someone’s got to be horrible. I also just want to add, I feel like we’d be remiss as three clinical psychologists without mentioning it, that sometimes kids asking specifically about this package thing or that availability bias is anxiety. There’s this kind of, I need to know when it’s happening because it’s not, what if it’s not according to plan? What if it doesn’t get here? If I can’t predict it, then I can’t kind of hold onto it in my head. And that that’s certainly I’ve seen happen with kids. And so parents misinterpret kids constant asking as a lack of gratitude or a lack of ability to focus on other things. And it’s actually a sign of anxiety. I don’t mean clinical anxiety, just sort of colloquial anxiety. And it’s interesting, I’m thinking, but I think what you’re saying Emily makes sense is can you order things outside of Amazon Prime? Again, if we think of parenting as achievable, broadening their circle, I will say to some parents, and it’s like, we should go to another neighborhood and look at how other people live and we, it’s like, yes. Or choose the non next day delivery option. You can start small.

Dr. Emily (16:30):

Well, I love that. And I think one of the things that we did in my family during Pandemic actually was we watched the documentary On the Way to School, which follows children all over the world and how their journeys to school, which some of them were far and arduous and some of them were, and it was just, it’s, we watch tv. It’s sort of just a way that instead of our regular Friday movie night, we did something a little different. And I think those are ways that are achievable and aren’t this huge. We were talking about earlier, a new introduction of a whole new thing, but just a way to introduce a little bit more broader perspective.

Dr. Sarah (17:14):

And I think when you have those opportunities to broaden their perspective in a format that is filled with your presence, your connection, your helping them process, having a family movie night where we all sit and watch this thing and we talk about it, we point things out and we’re having a nice time. Those, that’s what I was saying, those are the moments when kids can really learn gratitude far more effectively than the moments when they’re really upset that something didn’t happen the way they wanted. And they’re having a really hard time with that. And that’s not the best time actually to say, we need to teach you gratitude right now, even though as a parent, your brain’s kind of firing like, oh my God, they’re not grateful. I got to teach that. So it’s like we have to have a little tolerance ourselves for kind of noticing it, saying, okay, note to self going to teach some skills around this at another time when my child is connected and receptive and interested and motivated to learn something new, not when they’re in the throes of profound disappointment or frustration or anger. We need to recognize when’s optimal teaching time and when’s not.

Dr. Rebecca (18:30):

For everything? I mean, that’s half of what I do all day is just talk about timing. Because parents will say to me, well, do you think it’s okay that they called me stupid? Or do you think it’s okay that they’re saying they want to kill their sister? And it’s like, no, no, no, no. What I’m saying is addressing that in the moment that feeling is happening is not going to be helpful. Let’s bring everybody’s nervous systems back into regulation, and then let’s find another time to talk about using kind words or how to handle anger, that sort of thing.

Dr. Sarah (18:59):

Yeah. That’s so important. I think parents do. There’s this tricky path I think that we at walk as you know, psychologists who coach parents on parenting as parents ourselves, who frankly do not get it right all the time. I was just doing a group yesterday…

Dr. Rebecca (19:18):

Speak for yourself Dr. Bren.

Dr. Sarah (19:21):

Right? I was literally doing a parenting group yesterday and I was explaining how you could talk to a kid in a moment when they’re throwing a ball across a bowl across the kitchen and one of the parents spoke up and was, all of these things you’re saying sound so great and you’re so calm and your words are so, they make so much sense. But in that moment when my kid throws the bowl against across the room, I can’t access that language too overwhelmed and upset. And I’m like, yeah, that makes so much sense. And I can tell you this nicely thought out, eloquent script in this moment because I’m in a zoom call with you. I did not just experience this. I also sometimes can’t access my calm, articulate words when my kid does something that triggers me. And so I think we have to remember, we’re talking about this in moments where you’re going to have moments where you’re going to be totally on as a parent and you are going to think of the right things to say and say them in the right way, and your kid’s going to receive them in the right way.

(20:37):

Amazing. That does not have to happen all the time, and it will not happen all the time, and we could still be effective.

Dr. Emily (20:44):

Yeah, I love that. I also think what we’re talking about is two prong, right? We’re talking about reactive parenting and trying to be the best in calming our reactivity, but it’s proactive parenting too. Giving your children responsibilities, giving them a debit card, teaching them, those types of things. Those are other opportunities to teach value, perspective, appreciation, and non entitlement. So I think there’s those two branches that are really important and balancing Sarah. And I always say, if you’re doing 51%, you’re doing better. And so can we balance those two prongs with both these proactive things that we’re doing by expanding their worlds and giving them responsibilities and those types of things. And also in our reactive side, trying to be our best selves and calm ourselves down. And I always say, strike when the iron is cold. And trying to do those two strategies and weighing those often.

Dr. Rebecca (21:47):

Yeah, I don’t remember where we were. I think I’ve blocked it out, but it was like, can I buy this wherever for my son? Can I buy this? No. Why? It cost a lot of money. It’s only $10, something like that. It’s only $10. That’s not a lot of money. And again, and to your point, the rage of that’s not a lot of money. Who are you that $10? Oh, you have a job now all those voices come in. And I do think I snapped at him. I don’t think I was quite that bad, but I think I said something like, what do you mean it’s not? And then was able to back off. I don’t think that interaction ended particularly well, but it ended as all interactions do. And then I was able to say to myself, okay, this does feel like it’s getting to be a thing. What can I do as a parent? What can we do as parents to address this in a proactive way? So a lot of times that proactive parenting piece can come from noticing that these moments that you’re feeling triggered as a parent are happening more and more often.

Dr. Emily (22:57):

Look, there is an important place for confidence and appropriate entitlement, and I think that has a lot of cultural norms that are really important to help people to speak up when they need to and how I think that there’s a lot of nuance there. So I don’t want to make it seem like it’s all bad. We want to teach when it’s appropriate to express yourself and feel confident about that. And then on the other times when it is more appropriate to tone that down and be more humble or grateful. So I think it’s a more nuanced and complicated concept than just not raising spoiled kids.

Dr. Sarah (23:38):

And I think developmentally appropriate expectations is critical there because Emily, what you described the of being able to say, I can appropriately dial up my assertiveness in situations that call for it. And so I can more effectively get my needs met and I’m capable of appropriately dialing down my assertiveness in being more deferential or grateful or being more cooperative or whatever as the situation calls for it requires a ton of cognitive skill and social learning and inhibition of impulse. So a two year old just is not going to be able to do that period. But some nine-year-olds might, and some nine-year-olds might not, because the other thing is our brain development isn’t just tied to numbers. It’s not tied to chronological age in that respect, it’s tied to your brain and your environment and what learning you’ve been exposed to. So there’s so many variables that go into a kid’s capacity to do that, and we can definitely increase their skills around that, and perhaps their access to those skills by a regulated kid is going to have access to their skills in ways that a dysregulated kid.

Dr. Rebecca (24:59):

But I also think the conversation about when to be assertive and when not to be assertive and all the things that you mentioned that go into that, which is all of which are true, opens the door right back up into privilege because that whole idea of being able to assert yourself and get your needs met by asserting yourself is something that depends so much depending on privilege. And I’ve been thinking about this a lot because one of my kids has been having a really hard time this week for ways and reasons I won’t go into, but I’ve had to interface with the school a lot, and I have the tremendous privilege of believing deep down that will work for me, that when I approach this school system in the way that I am going to, there’s no reason that all the pieces won’t fall into place the way that they should.

(25:47):

And if they don’t, I can keep going up the ladder and I have that agency and I have that power. And I think so much of what’s happening in the world right now, and of course I think of the recent police brutality and all of that, it’s sort of where privilege is not just about packages coming to your door from Amazon. It’s also about just your views of the world and whether things are ultimately just or not, just, and bringing that into the whole conversation with our kids about regulating emotions and getting needs met becomes very complicated and needs to be very complicated.

Dr. Emily (26:23):

Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. I think that there’s a way that the privileges that each family and each interface has really plays out within the family, but also in these larger interfaces with other big things, particularly schools or work or those types of things, and keeping those things in mind when we are working individually with families, but just as we talk about this too, that it doesn’t always feel safe to not have that deferential ness or sacrifice or that type of thing. And I think that that’s really an important thing that families work to find the balance on and think through. But some of these strategies of slowing down and really being mindful are helpful for in either situation in all of the situations. But I appreciate that because I think it is, it can be more complicated, and we have to take that into consideration from a cultural perspective as well.

Dr. Sarah (27:21):

Yeah, no, that’s all very, it gets very muddy when we factor this stuff, and it’s very easy to talk about it and in these theoretical terms, but when you’re actually in it, and it’s not always so easy to teach a kid how to appropriately respond, and I’m thinking, I’m a white woman, my kids are white children, and how do I teach my white children to respond to situations where they do need to assert themselves or need to be less assertive in ways that respects the needs of the people that they’re talking to as well? And recognize that not all kids have been brought up in families where they know how to do that, or if it’s even appropriate sometimes to be able to do that.

Dr. Emily (28:16):

Well, not all kids get responded to in the same way.

Dr. Sarah (28:20):

Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Emily (28:21):

Right. So I think that’s sort of the important nuance. We’re talking about knowing your environment and building confident kids that can learn how to respond to their environment, but environments also respond to your children in different ways. And I really do, I’m a firm believer in teaching your kids about being pretty transparent about teaching your kids about those sort of differences and what they might expect and really to understand their context because it is different for each family, depending on what your child looks like, the color of their skin, maybe even what they’re wearing, those types of things really do have feedback from the environment. And I’m an advocate of…

Dr. Rebecca (29:03):

I’m only saying it because you missed it, Emily, and I know you didn’t mean to: gender.

Dr. Emily (29:06):

Yes, a hundred percent. And I think another one, how do we navigate that? I think, again, as an open conversation with our kids around these things, it’s just also bringing it back to family conversations, bringing it back to what it’s like in the real world and how do we unpack what that looks like and many different, troubleshoot, right? Many different scenarios and what that might be, I think is a really important way. We role play with my kids all the time around these things just for practice.

Dr. Sarah (29:39):

Yeah, and I imagine too, I know Emily, I know the ages of your kids and Rebecca, I know the ages of your kids, but I think there is also, we want to think about how do we do this in ways that match where our kids are at from a developmental standpoint? How might those conversations look for toddlers, preschoolers, more slightly older kids?

Dr. Rebecca (30:08):

I feel like we’ll have to do another episode mean seriously. There’s so much we’re getting into how do we teach kids about cultural norms and gender and race? And it’s all tremendously important. And I think all of the literature now points to the earlier you do that, this isn’t a surprise conversation that happens when they’re seven. This is just a way that you parent kind of throughout, and it starts to bring us full circle with modeling and noticing.

Dr. Emily (30:44):

I think maybe to bring it again, another sort of full circle is that curiosity, right? Again, being like that’s a tenant that I think we can all hold onto and maybe try to prioritize as parents more, like being curious about the environment, about how the package gets there, about how a school interfaces with your child, about a classmate of theirs. Really just having this inquisitive mindset I think really does help present us with a lot more opportunities on a day-to-day basis to have more in-depth conversations about these things that hold a lot of the tenants that we’re talking about and bring those forward. And I think that’s just a way that we can, in prior bringing this back to prioritizing, how do we make caring common? How do we make things like that be at the front burner?

Dr. Sarah (31:31):

And how do we also explain how things work? Going back to this idea of make transparent the process of how the Amazon package gets to our door, and how do we make transparent some of the systemic issues in our cultural society that make it to create these situations that you’re noticing? How do we talk about these more complex issues? And again, at developmentally appropriate ways with younger kids, it’s more about representation and exposing them to as much diversity of both culture and thinking as we can. But that idea, what you’re talking about, Rebecca, is it’s critical thinking. It’s questioning, it’s saying,

Dr. Rebecca (32:17):

It’s noticing. It starts with noticing. I, I mean, feel like I want t-shirts, right? It starts with noticing. And for me too, again, I could go through a whole day without noticing easily because I’m on my phone and I’m this and I’m not, and that doesn’t, again, I’ve learned very hard to say, that doesn’t make me a bad person or, but it’s a practice. It’s a practice that I just think every day devoting ourselves too.

Dr. Sarah (32:47):

And not being afraid to talk about things that make us uncomfortable. I don’t know how to talk about it because it makes me uncomfortable to notice the differences, but I think pushing through that discomfort and talking about that with our kids is actually really valuable. It’s super hard to do.

Dr. Rebecca (33:03):

And even noticing the discomfort and saying that to your kids, I notice I get uncomfortable talking about this. Let’s talk about that.

Dr. Sarah (33:12):

And again, that’s got to happen in a conversation in a setting when your kids are totally connected and present and receptive to it. If they’re not get with you, it’s, it’s just, it’s not going to land.

Dr. Rebecca (33:28):

And it’s not a one-off. Like it might be that you make one comment, I notice this, and they say, I think I’m going to get a burger today. That’s the end. And then it didn’t land, but it’s you do it the next day and the next day. Again, it’s a long game. You’re playing a long game.

Dr. Emily (33:44):

Or it lands. I always say you never know with parents what land and what doesn’t, right? So I do love the idea of it doesn’t have to be the perfect setting or the perfect environment, but you keep trying and you sprinkle it. And we shouldn’t expect an aha moment from our kids.

Dr. Rebecca (34:01):

I love that, you sprinkle it. It’s the back of our t-shirt.

Dr. Emily (34:06):

Exactly. I love that.

Dr. Rebecca (34:08):

It starts with the noticing on the front, and then in the back it says you sprinkle it. I honestly feel like that’s it. That’s what we do love.

Dr. Sarah (34:15):

I love it. Well, this conversation ended up being a lot more than I expected in a great way. But I do hope that it left parents with some validation, but their fears make sense, but also perhaps could be challenged a little bit with a little understanding of what’s appropriate developmentally, what makes sense, context, and also tools to do something about it. But in the time when it’s most effective, I think parents just say, I keep trying and it’s not working because they’re trying at times when you can’t get in.

Dr. Rebecca (34:56):

Yep. Agreed on all of that.

Dr. Sarah (34:59):

All right, talk soon.

(35:02):

Thank you so much for listening. As you can hear, parenting is not one size fits all. It’s nuanced and it’s complicated. So I really hope that this series where we’re answering your questions really helps you to cut through some of the noise and find out what works best for you and your unique child. If you have a burning parenting question, something you’re struggling to navigate, or a topic you really want us to shed light on or share research about, we want to know, go to dr sarah branden.com/question to send in anything that you want, Rebecca, Emily, and me to answer in this new series securely attached beyond the sessions. That’s dr.sarahbren.com/question. And check back for a brand new securely attached next Tuesday. And until then, don’t be a stranger.


✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached – Beyond the Sessions! ✨

119. BTS: How can I keep my child from being spoiled?

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